Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
