Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
