I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
