But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
