Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
