eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
A bitchslap is in order.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
