Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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