Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you traded sex for a burrito?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
