Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
40s are totally the cure
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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