i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize