If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
