We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
