the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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