Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
