and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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