doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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