So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
