3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize