Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
