Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
