census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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