Pappa wants mamma naked
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
