i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize