No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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