Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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