I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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