3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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