Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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