the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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