She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
