Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
