My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
