i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
