I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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