I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
