I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
