drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize