You're completely useless in the revolution.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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