The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
