true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
