I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
