I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
