Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
pop tarts are not kleenex
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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