I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
