Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
