Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
