And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
