We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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