I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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