Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
