somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
