it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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