I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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