So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
