Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
