There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
