Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
