started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
